What is your gift to the world? That might sound like a rather profound question, but for me, the answer came on a hot day on July 31, 2008. It wasn't a grand talent or a brilliant invention. It was simply the courage to say "no."
Since that pivotal day in 2008, I have been on a journey of self-discovery. Just for the next few moments, I am going to highlight..
The Burden of Overcommitment
The Roots of Seeking Approval
A Childhood of Invisibility
The Day Everything Changed
The True Gift
The Ripple Effect
The Burden of Overcommitment:
For years, I had piled on responsibilities like a hoarder collecting trinkets. I volunteered for every committee, joined every community group, and filled my calendar with civic activities. I told myself I was being a good person, a valuable member of society. But the truth was, I absolutely dreaded every minute of it.
It felt like I was carrying a backpack filled with bricks, each obligation weighing me down a little more. I was constantly tired, stressed, and resentful. But I kept saying yes, driven by a deep-seated need for approval that I didn't even understand.
The Roots of Seeking Approval:
This desperate desire to be liked started early in life. I grew up in Cincinnati, Ohio, bouncing around the foster care system. I experienced the kindness of one family, but also the stark contrast of neglect from another who cared more about her "snuff" and soap operas than my well-being.
In between, I was adopted by people who, to put it mildly, were not a good fit. Their mistreatment of me left scars that continues to run deep to this day.
A Childhood of Invisibility:
Throughout these experiences, I felt invisible. I was neither seen nor heard, my needs and desires completely ignored. I longed for love and acceptance, but I learned that the only way to get it was to be useful, agreeable, and never cause any trouble. I was the little boy on the playground, always the last to be picked for a team, my heart aching with every rejection.
The Day Everything Changed:
On that scorching July day in 2008, something finally snapped. I woke up and realized I was living a life dictated by obligation, not by desire. I was a puppet on strings, dancing to the tune of other people's expectations. And in that moment, I made a decision that would change my life forever.
I said "enough." I resigned from committees, canceled commitments, and for the first time in my life, I gave myself permission to do absolutely nothing.
The True Gift:
That moment of saying no was the most liberating experience I've ever had. It was like a weight lifted off my shoulders, a fog cleared from my mind. I realized that saying no wasn't selfish, it was self-preservation. It wasn't about letting people down, it was about being true to myself.
And that's when I discovered my true gift: the power to set boundaries, to prioritize my own well-being, and to live a life that is authentically mine.
The Ripple Effect:
Embracing the power of no has had a ripple effect on every aspect of my life. I have more time and energy for the things that truly matter. I've rediscovered passions I had long forgotten, and I've built deeper, more meaningful relationships.
Most importantly, I've learned that when you give yourself permission to say no to the things that don't serve you, you create space for the things that do. You open yourself up to new opportunities, new experiences, and a life filled with joy and purpose.
Conclusion:
So, I ask you again, what is your gift to the world? Maybe it's not about what you do, but about what you don't do. Maybe it's about saying no to the noise, to the expectations, to the things that dim your light.
Maybe it's about giving yourself permission to simply be.
Because when you finally set yourself free, that's when you truly shine.
Let me ask you again, What you your gift to the world?
Thank you.